Did we really end like that?
by krissiic
Summary: This is my first fanfic so be gentle with me. This fanfic is based on what could happen to Gerard Way after My Chemical Romance. It is going to be sad but I am hoping the ending will make it worth it. Not sure how many chapters there will be so keep your eyes open for up dates. The chapters will get longer. Just getting used to the publishing on this site
1. Chapter 1

**This is the first fanfic I have ever written so be gentle with me. I wanted to see what it would be like if everything went wrong for Gerard Way after My Chemical Romance broke up. Not going to be the happiest story ever but I hope the ending will make up for it!**

**Did we really end like that?**

**Chapter 1**

**He rubbed his eyes as he realised that staying in bed was going to do nothing for him. His hand automatically felt the left of him on the bed: it still shocked him that he was alone now. How long had it been now? 14 months? He groaned as his feet hit the floor and made his way to the bathroom. As he put his hand on the wall, he peed for what seemed like an eternity. The silence was deafening after the flush was pulled and all he could do was turn the cold tap on and wash his face. The reflection as he gazed into the mirror shocked him: gaunt cheeks and a grey tinge to his skin. His hair grey and greasy with the fringe stuck to his forehead. Hard to believe that this was a man that was adored by millions of fans only 2 years ago. **

**In 2013, he had a nice house in LA, a beautiful wife and a gorgeous daughter. Now he lived in a one bedroom apartment in New York, with a divorce in one pocket and monthly visits of his daughter in the other. His only crime was to break up the band he was in since 2001 and then decide that he could do it on his own. Who the heck was he trying to kid? He thought he was the main member and had totally forgotten about the other three members. Now he had nothing. The divorce had ruined him and the last time he tried to do a concert, only 20 people had turned up. That was in 2014. Now, in 2015, he had a crappy job stacking shelves in a small shop. He grimaced in the mirror then grabbed his shaver. What a good job I have made of my life, he thought as the shaver glided across his skin. After doing this, he threw on yesterday's clothes, grabbed his keys and left the apartment.**

**It was a short walk to work. His hands shoved deep in his pockets to warm them up. It was freezing that day with grey clouds. Suits my life and mood, he thought sadly. He felt around in his jacket pocket for his cigarettes but realised he had left them at home. He cursed loudly, making an elderly woman jump. He had a choice: go back or buy some more. He took the latter and dived into a newsagents. Feeling better after he light up, he leaned against the wall of the shop he worked in. **

**Mr Lee was a lovely guy to work for. He ran a hardware shop and always had a smile on his face for the customers. Mr Lee had felt sorry for him when he came into the shop, begging for a job. He was a widowed man with no children, so help was appreciated. **

**The day went slowly and he found himself watching the clock as he cleaned down the counter for the tenth time that day. There wasn't a lot to be done and they didn't have a delivery until the following day. So this is it? Cleaning, stacking shelves, making coffee, scrubbing floors and being a general dogsbody! God, this sucks, he thought, as he went and put some rubbish out into the bin. **

**As he walked home at 6pm, the Heavens opened. He pulled up his hood and took a drag from his now soggy cigarette. He put the key into the door and sighed. My name is Gerard Way and I am a loser. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, so I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. More characters will be brought in. I am nervous of how it is gonna turn out, but bear with me.**

**Did we really end like that?**

**Chapter 2.**

"**When are you gonna get yourself sorted? You think I can keep the both of us plus B? You know I can't earn your sort of money with MSI!"**

**Gerard rolled over and pretended he was asleep. As usual, Lindsay was having a go at him and he wasn't in the mood for it this morning. Why was it always about the money? Was that the reason she stayed with him? It definitely wasn't for the sex, that was for sure. He couldn't even remember the last time they got intimate. She would go to bed early and he spent the evenings on his laptop looking up porn. Nice marriage! He had tried to touch her, but she would say she had a headache or was tired. After a while, he gave up and had to 'sort himself out.' **

**He heard Lindsay sigh and leave the room. Stuff her, he thought. Plenty of other people would want to be with him and be happy. He had thought about walking out, but then he would look at his daughter, and he knew he couldn't. The thought of seeing his daughter at the weekends just broke his heart. It was bad enough when he was on tour and would spend months away from her. There were times that he would come home and she would scream when he came near her. She would forget him so easily and this was another reason he quit the band. He had hoped that Lindsay would have been pleased with her husband home. He had also hoped it would mend his marriage. Yeah, right. She only spoke to him when she wanted money to go shopping or have another tattoo. The last two months, he had to refuse her money unless it was for bills or food. This hadn't gone down well and now she just yelled at him. The words "Useless," "Worthless" and "Loser" were now favourites of hers towards him. **

**He heard Bandit's voice in the corridor then Lindsay telling her that she couldn't see daddy as he was asleep. He frowned, pushed the covers off himself, and made his way to the door. Bandit's face lit up as she spotted her dad. He grinned and picked her up in his arms. It didn't matter that he had been home constantly for three months: he was still amazed how much she had grown up. **

**The rows got worse over the following month yet it still hurt when she handed him divorce papers.**

"**Oh come on Lindsay! Are you telling me you really want a divorce now after all we have been through? We have just celebrated our 6****th**** wedding anniversary and now you hand me this shit!"**

**He threw the papers back at her in anger. Lindsay just stood there. There was no emotion on her face as she picked them up off the floor. **

"**You think I can stay married to you when all you do is make me miserable? No, I won't and I don't expect B to have to deal with it either. Her behaviour has got worse at nursery since you have been home and all you do is lay around in bed for most of the day. I don't love you anymore and if I am being honest, it has been a long time since I have."**

**It felt like a knife in his heart as she uttered those words. He had guessed that things weren't brilliant but he never thought that she felt that way. He just thought that they needed time to adjust with him being home all the time. Yes, they rowed constantly, but a lot of couples did. **

**He had no choice but to sign them. She wanted the house, plus a ridiculous amount of money for herself and Bandit per month and that wasn't including the lump sum she wanted. He had thought she wouldn't get what she wanted, but the judge had taken pity on Lindsay left with a young child. They didn't have a pre nup as he assumed they were going to be together forever. He now regretted that. **

**He walked out of the courts with nothing. Lindsay allowed him to get his belongings then he left with a heavy heart. He didn't want to burden his brother Mikey as he had a baby on the way with his fiancé, Sarah and there was no room anyway. He also didn't ask his mum or dad if he could stay with either of them. **

**He had never felt so alone as he did right then but he realised that he had to get on with his life on his own. **

**So now he was stuck in New York in a crappy job. He was bankrupt because of the amount that Lindsay had asked for. It was going to take a while before he could have a bank account again. He had watched as the bank cut up his credit cards but that didn't bother him: it was more the hurt of having to sell his Volkswagen Beetle and his comic book collection to pay his rent and bills before he had managed to get a job. Now, he only had his desk, paper, pencils and paints. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Did we really end like that?**

**Chapter 3**

**Gerard lay in his bed. It was 1am and he had been trying to sleep for hours. He kept remembering all the things that happened after My Chem split up. He could still see the faces of the other members as they stared in horror at him when he announced what he was going to do …**

"**Look guys. It just isn't what I want to do anymore. I want to concentrate on my artwork and comics. I only started the band as it was easier to do than break into the comic book world. I needed my name to be known and now I have done that. You guys should be proud of what you accomplished, you know. Anyway, I will see you around."**

"**You are having a laugh Gee? The band is breaking up? No, that can't happen man. Yeah, we know you are having a few problems writing lyrics but that has happened before. Remember after 'Black Parade'? You got all weird on us and said you needed a break. We all did, but we came back bigger and better with a new image. Gee, don't do this to us," said Ray sadly**

**Frank stared at him with tears in his eyes. Gerard felt his heart breaking for his friend but he knew he needed to do this. Ray was speechless. This was a first for him as he always had plenty to say. Mikey put his hand on Gerard's shoulder.**

"**I will stand by any decision you make Gee. Go and make it big in the comic world and do what you need to do."**

"**You are joking me Mikey?" snapped Frank, "The son of a bitch wants to ruin our livelihood and you think that is acceptable? I gave up everything to be in this band. I worked in shitty places, slept in vans, starved for days, bleed myself dry and now he wants to quit. I can't even believe we are having this conversation after all we have been through"**

**He stormed off. Gerard stared after him and sighed. He hoped James and Jarrod would be more understanding. Ray scratched his head and looked awkward while James and Jarrod shrugged their shoulders.**

"**I have another job lined up anyway, just in case you guys got tired of me. I know that sounds like I am being a shit, but I needed to know that I would be ok," stated Jarrod **

"**Well, I have been thinking about getting 'Reggie & The Effect' back together but as I was so busy with you guys, I pushed it to the back of my mind. I was thinking about asking Frank to join us if I did. Don't worry, I wasn't gonna poach him from you," said James with a small smile**

**Mikey gave his older brother a hug**

"**I know you are worried about me but I am fine. I have been in talks with a new band in New Jersey who are interested in getting me to join as their guitarist. I didn't make any plans, but had them as a back up. I guess I knew that something wasn't right after we played Bamboozle last year. Something seemed to be missing: it was like you weren't even there Gee"**

"**I just don't want to lose you all as my friends. You all mean so much to me, but I need to get my head straight. I have some music that I have been playing with plus want to do some more comics. Grant has asked me to do an eight page comic with him on Batman. You know I have been waiting for this opportunity forever. Maybe now I can concentrate on what I wanted before we got the band together. I guess I forgot my dreams when I saw 9/11 and really did think that I wanted to be in a band. Now, I am not so sure anymore."**

**Gerard could feel the tears in his eyes and blinked furiously. This wasn't how he wanted it to end. He broke from Mikey's arms and went to find Frank.**

**Frank was back in his room at the hotel. Gerard had decided to talk to them on neutral territory so a hotel in LA was the best thing to do. He knocked on the door of Frank's room and could hear his sobs. After a few seconds, the door opened. He nearly closed it again when he saw it was Gerard, but Gerard put his foot in the gap of the door.**

"**Talk to me Frankie," he said softly**

"**I can't. You have broken me and I can't forgive you for this," wept Frank, the tears pouring down his face.**

**Gerard pushed open the door and entered the room. He grabbed Frank in a hug and let the younger man cry on his shoulder. He kissed his head and rubbed his back. Frank was shaking so Gerard guided him to the bed and pulled the covers back. He lay Frank on the bed then wrapped him in the blankets. He lay next to him and brushed his tears away with his thumb. Frank stared up at him and shook his head.**

"**No Gee, this can't happen again. We have been through this a million times since 2007. You had a choice and picked Lindsay so don't you dare put me through that pain again. I love Lindsay and Jamia so I refuse to go there again. We both have kids for fuck's sake."**

**Gerard touched Frank's lips with his finger and felt the softness of them. He licked his own lips slowly and gazed down at the dishevelled man next to him. Frank watched him as Gerard leaned in for the kill. He didn't see Frank's fist come at him and when he found himself on the bedroom floor, he couldn't believe it. The pain shot through his lip and he felt the blood starting to run down his chin.**

"**You hit me! What the fuck man? I came to see if you were ok, but maybe I shouldn't have bothered. Go fuck yourself Frank. I am out of here. Obviously, you don't give a damn about me so maybe it is for the best that the band is breaking up. At least I won't have to put up with your shit anymore. Maybe it is about time I told you what I actually thought of you: you don't give a damn about anyone but yourself. You hurt people if they get too close. You try and play the innocent every time and I am sick of it. The 'Oh poor me' thing you do every time you are ill is beyond a joke and I, for one, was getting tired of having to cancel gigs because of you. Now, I can do what I want and to Hell with the lot of ya. I am going to be bigger than the band, as I know we're famous cos of my good looks and not for the music. I will be on every fucking magazine and you will be left trying to get by on the royalties. Watch this space, motherfucker"**

**Gerard felt his blood boiling as he spat out all the venom he could to hurt Frank. He wanted to get back at him for rejecting him yet again. Yes, he was married as was Frank, but he had loved Frank for a long time. It didn't help that Frank had admitted feelings for him as well but never did anything about it. The only thing he ever allowed Gerard to do was kiss and feel him up on stage. Frank knew how to get Gerard hot under the collar and most of the time, he instigated it. For 12 years, they had played this game with each other but now, Gerard could do it no more. **

**Frank stared at him in horror. He got off the bed and went toe to toe with Gerard. The temperature went up by 100 degrees as they glared at each other. He took a swing, as Gerard ducked out of the way. He wrestled him onto the bed and pinned his hands above his head. Frank kicked out but Gerard was stronger and straddled him. After 10 minutes of this, Frank stopped fighting. His face was bright red and his fringe stuck to his forehead. He was a beautiful sight and Gerard felt himself getting turned on just looking at him. He kissed the younger man's lips but Frank bite him. Gerard yelped in surprise and pulled away. **

**He got off Frank and made his way to the door. He took one last glance at Frank and shook his head sadly. **

**It was the last time he saw Frank. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Did we really end like that?**

**Chapter 4**

**It was another rainy day in New York and Gerard decided to go for a walk. It was Sunday afternoon and he didn't have to work that day. He threw on some baggy jeans, a Iron Maiden T Shirt and scruffy white converse then made his way out of his apartment. The sky was grey and suited his mood. He stuck his headphones in his ears then stuck his hands in his pockets. He stood in Central Park, when he froze: a song he hadn't heard in a couple of years came on and made him gasp. It was "Burn Bright" which he had wrote after having another stupid argument with Frank. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he gazed out towards the direction of New Jersey. He hadn't been there in a while as didn't want to risk running into Frank. How could he face any of the members after what had happened to him? He was so ashamed with himself and now he faced the ultimate punishment: he was shunned by everyone. He hated the taste of failure but that was what had happened. **

**As he sat on a bench, his mind went back to the previous year. He had tried to be happy for Mikey when he told him that his band had gone to number one in the album and singles chart in England. Mikey had been so excited, and as he told Gerard about the UK tour they were doing, all he could think about was when My Chem had done that. He mind wondered to Ray and how he was becoming the manager everyone wanted. He hadn't spoken to him, but had been reading up on him. It seemed his name was everywhere. James was also happy with his bands "Reggie & The Full Effect" and "DeathSpells" with Frank. **

**Frank. That name haunted his every nightmare and dream. Every night, he relived the last time they saw each other and how much hate there had been on Frank's face. It was bad enough that his face was in every magazine, let alone thinking of him every night. **

**He didn't know how long he had been sat on the bench, but he knew it had been a while. The rain had soaked through his clothing and his hands were numb. He felt someone's presence near him and looked up. Elderly woman with an umbrella was staring down at him.**

"**Are you ok sweetheart? I have been watching you through my window and was getting quite concerned about you."**

"**I am fine but thank you for your concern." said Gerard, pushing his cold fingers through his wet hair.**

**He got up from the bench and walked away, his hands deep in his pockets. The cold had penetrated his clothing and he knew he was going to be ill if he stayed out any longer.**

…**..**

**The alarm clock went off and Gerard gave a raspy groan. Every part of his body was burning up even though he was shivering. The sweat was pouring off his brow and throat felt like it was on fire. He shakily grabbed his cellphone and rang his boss. He managed to get some words out about being ill though most of his words were inaudible. Luckily, Mr Lee understood and wished him a speedy recovery.**

**For a whole week, Gerard couldn't leave his bed. The fever broke after a couple of days but it zapped him of all his energy. He only left the bed, with a struggle, to go to the toilet to either be sick or pee. He stank of sweat and his clothes has vomit, piss and sweat stains on them. He gazed in the mirror: his complexion was white, his teeth were stained bad and his eyes bloodshot. He got into a cold shower, as he hadn't paid his electric bill, and scrubbed his body raw. He wrapped a dirty towel around his waist, cleaned his teeth then when on the hunt for clean-ish clothes. He hadn't been to the launderette in weeks, so finding something presentable to wear was becoming a difficult task.**

**He went into work, still feeling weak, as he needed the money. Things were becoming desperate now and he didn't know where to turn. His brother was still in Europe having the time of his life and all his friends had abandoned him once they realised he had no money anymore. He thought many times that he should go to either of his parents. Maybe he could stay with either of them. He knew his mum would love it if he came home. When he rang her each week, she always asked him when he would be coming over to New Jersey to see her. Unfortunately, his pride always stopped him from doing that.**

**Two weeks after suffering the flu, he made up his mind: he now had no gas, so couldn't cook plus he still hadn't paid his electric bill. The phone had been cut off and he had spent the past week hiding from his landlord. It was time to go home to his mum.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Did we really end like that?**

**Chapter 5****.**

**It didn't take long to pack up his personal belongings. His clothing went in one bag while his art supplies went in another. His clothes stank from lack of washing but Gerard didn't care anymore. He knew his mum would fix that. All he had to do now was work out how to get out of the apartment with his stuff without his landlord seeing him. He decided that he would leave in the middle of the night.**

**It was a Wednesday night when he finally found the nerve to leave. He had already given in is notice at work, and though Mr Lee was sad to see him go, he knew it was for the best. He had had too many complaints about the smell in his shop in regards to Gerard's body odour and it was getting worse.**

**It was 10:30pm when he slipped out of his apartment. No one was around as he raced off in the direction of the tube station. He wished he had been able to tell his mum that he was on his way, but as he had been without electric for a while, he couldn't charge his cellphone. He was now far enough from his apartment by a few blocks so slowed down his pace. Needing some cigarettes, he stopped at a shop and also brought a diet coke. **

**He carried on walking towards the tube station. It was a clear night and he wished he could see the stars better. He cursed being in a city with so many lights. As he went around a corner, and stopped. The area where The Twin Towers had stood was in front of him and he felt a tightening in his chest. His mind wondered back to the day it happened. It was as if it was happening again as he started****to hear the screams and could clearly see the bodies falling from the burning buildings. He was amazed that he could even remember what he was wearing. Even now, he still had nightmares about 9/11, though he had never admitted that to anyone. Gerard whispered a prayer as he stood there. The tears were burning his eyes and he quickly blinked them away. After doing the sign of the cross on himself, he dragged his ass away from the site.**

**The tube station came into view. He took his time going down the steps. It wasn't too busy at that time of the night. He brought his ticket then stood on the platform. Gerard glanced at his watch and knew it wouldn't be long before his train came in.**

**He watched as a guard and a gentleman in a suit started having an argument. The guard noticed Gerard watching them, grabbed the gentleman's arm and pulled him away. The man yanked his arm away from the guard and started shaking his finger in the guard's face. Gerard watched as the guard's face paled and wondered what was going on.**

"**As far as I am concerned, there are no problems with anything. You do your job and keep everything running as normal. I am not gonna lose money cos of some stupid guard thinking he knows everything. Do I make myself clear?" Hissed the man.**

"**But Mr Young, that piece of track is not ….."**

"**Look Mr Grey, get on with your job. There is no problems ok?"**

**Mr Young walked away, leaving a very flustered Mr Grey.**

**Gerard lit up a cigarette and frowned slightly. Was there something wrong with the track? He shrugged his shoulders as he took a long drag. If there had been a problem, surely there would have been an announcement over the tannoy. By the time he finished his cigarette, he heard the rumble of the train coming through and thought no more of it.**

**People, including Gerard, poured onto the train. He managed to grab a seat in the back carriage and dumped his bags in front of him. A voice over the tannoy welcomed them aboard, announced where they were and what the next station would be. Gerard had to get off at the third stop then it was a two mile hike to his mum's house. The doors closed then the train sped off.**

**The carriage stank of body odour, piss, alcohol and coffee, making Gerard wrinkle his nose. He quickly realised that most of the body odour smell came from him, and he was disgusted with himself.**

**The train stopped at the next station. The usual hustle of people got off and on, then the doors closed again.**

**As the train went around a tight bend, something didn't feel right. **

**Gerard watched in horror as the carriages in front of him seemed to disappear. The last thing he remembered was the darkness surrounding him and hearing himself screaming.**


End file.
